I don’t really tell you this a lot but I need you. How much I need you, you have no idea and neither do I because if I know something, you know it. Everything that I have learnt in life until today is either from you or because of you and I have never ever thanked you for it. I assume you know. I assume that you know that how infinitely deep my love for you is just like I assume that you know that infinity is my favorite word. When you don’t, I can’t quite comprehend that and I may get a little unpleasant. I forget sometimes, that you are only human as well; that you have your limitations. It is unfair on my part because you never expect perfection from me. You love me, and my imperfections.
I am impulsive, hotheaded, impatient and a bad daughter in general. But, I am a good person and that’s because of you. The bad daughter part is on me. I wanted to use this opportunity to apologize profusely. I know that you have dedicated your entire life to raising me and I barely ever acknowledge what a humungous amount of dedication and affection that requires. I often wonder if I have that capability, to love someone that unconditionally. I perhaps don’t, which is why I need you. I might never be a mother myself, so I might never know how you feel but I wanted to let you know that every day I am going to try harder to understand your perspective, something I seldom do right now.
I might never be a mother, but I promise that when you get old we will exchange roles. I will take care of you and papa and be there for you like you are for me right now. Then, you can be impulsive, hotheaded and impatient – and I will have to be the understanding one. I am not ready to be that person right now, but I just wanted to let you know that I am trying and that I will get there, with your support. Like I always get everywhere I want to get, with your support.
Love, as much as humanly possible,